You lucky bastard

The music picks up speed, the intensity grows towards something very exhilarating, yet you don't notice it at all. You've got everything that you could possibly crave for, coffee, cinnamon biscuits and a warm duvet to cover most of your body; yet you do not think of it. The only thing on your mind is the story printed on the very pages you keep before you, everything else seems rather pointless. Taking your mind off the story, even just for a second, would be as to blaspheme the wondrous work and its long deceased author. Feeling like this would mean that you have found something far better than this blog, so what are you even doing here?

From in here we can conquer all

Every time I put my hands outside of my shell they get struck and stung. Every time I try to move the burning soil scorch my feet. I am blind. Every time I hand out a piece of my soul it gets tortured and kept captive in the dreadful lair of despair. But on the inside it is cosy and tranquil. The world is horrible and terrifying, I would give you a piece of shelter if only you could accept it. I'm all alone in here but I will never give up hope. I will make you learn from me because I need to be taught by you.

Any word will do

Sometimes reality drifts away from me for long periods at a time. Sometimes I don't even stop to wonder why and how. These times can be the happiest of all times. For months I have been unavailable emotionally and in matters that requires any kind of dedicated attention. I have been far gone into the depths of a beautiful soul. A force so overpowering and overwhelming, that I don't even wanted to let go of it if I could, that makes me tremble of pure joy, how could one resist anything that tempting? Yet temptation is not the right word, for the word is clouded with irrational feelings and behavior. But any word would corrupt the purity of one soul's love for another soul. So I guess, any word will do.

Meaning of Life

I've come to a realization. A purpose. A meaning with life; I'm not saying that it is THE meaning but it's most certainly in the same ballpark. I found out that that super-ego and rationalization is linked even when you are rationalizing bad things that's unethical or in any other way defies the rules of the healthy super-ego. I thought to myself that this could be it: Rationalize everything! But then again, what if I don't want to? what if I want to live by a religion or another kind of irrationality? Then I came to my final conclusion - Find your place in life. That's it. Finding your place in life must be what life's about.

Completed

I found myself doing something very unusual today. As i strode across a meadow bathed in moonlight I was suddenly struck by it's overwhelming intensity and i felt an urge to just lie down in the snow and look up - and so I did. I lay there for several minutes of which I was not aware of. The moon was so bright that I had to look away from time to time not to get blinded. Everything in the night sky was illuminated and distorted in beautiful circle-like formations. The snow around me was to surprise not in any way unpleasant, the cold did not reach trough my jacket and the ground was no way near my thoughts due to the snows softened embrace. I was happy.

Misunderstood, like everybody else

I have just realized that theres only two kinds of people that i know of. Firstly there's the kind people that understands me and think that I'm the most interesting person and wants to be around me even though i'm so utterly close to insane. The others are misunderstanding, they see only the misunderstandable person who sometimes appear to be, thinking of me nothing but weird. I shall be the first to say that me being weird is as true as gravity, I can not deny my difference from the "normal" person. I know of only three persons who I know belong to the first category. For them I am grateful.

Break free

There's people who never overcome the medial accomplishments. I'm nothing like that. I can be perfect one day and nothing the next. Of course I want all my days to be somewhat alike performance wise, but I can't. I'm a complex person. I'm very much affected by interference caused by others and the conditions under which I have to perform. I will nevertheless try to make the best of it. I really need to improve my proactivity. I do feel sorry for those who live in mediocrity all of the time.